Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in daft_pixie's LiveJournal:

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Friday, October 10th, 2008
10:56 pm	My, My, My. Told my love to wreck it all - Cut out all the ropes and let it fall. my, my my.. my, my my.. my my.. Right in this moment, there's all this talk....... And I told you to be patient. And I told you to be fine. And I told you to be better. And I told you to be kind. And in the morning I'll be with you But it'll be a different kind And I'll be holding all the tickets You'll be holding all the fines. Who will love you? Who will fly? Who will fall far behind? My, my my. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 17th, 2008
3:17 pm	I need to get out of here. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 30th, 2008
3:34 pm	I think I could stand to be prettier. I think I could stand to have better clothing. I think I could stand to lose weight. I think I could stand to cut down on the drugs, on the alcohol, and on the cigarettes (which I don't actually smoke anyway, so why even have a puff?)....  I'm having one of those days. One of those "I feel alienated, alone, and tired," days, so here I find myself, sitting in my basement, willing something of interest to happen. Where are you, where are you, where are you, I keep asking myself...  I'm not sure you even know where you are these days, clearly nor do I. Coffee in hand. It has some type of caramel-vanilla cream in it, which makes it sweet and unbearable. I'll finish this cup and move on to two or three more. I'm not sure why, but it seems to keep the void out of my stomach, coffee. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, July 28th, 2008
2:06 pm	"I keep trying to sing happy songs but the more I try the more I forget the words"    ----- "Sing happy songs, they'll make you feel better." "I'm going to try, but all that ever comes into mind are the sad ones." "Then you're not trying hard enough." ----- The art thing lastnight (a soiree of sorts, I suppose) was alright. I had to stand around for hours and hours on achy feet, but besides that I suppose it was fairly solid. Surprisingly a lot of people came out, and it had to all be cleared by the staff. .. I thought that was nothing short of amazing, since any Vernaissage I'd ever been to was completely dead by the very end. There's also an ounce of pride toward the fact that I pushed all the inviting on my friend, Noor, and she pulled through with flying colours (invited more people than I even would have thought to). I sold a couple of pieces, which was refreshing since my last show was a slight flop. The first sale was right at the beginning, and someone actually bought one of the canvases that was up for display. Hello money. More sales were made toward the end, but I was just selling off pieces of cardboard I'd done little pieces on. Supposedly my art's becoming a bit of a hit. ....suckers. I'm in Parkdale Gallery next month. Wish me luck......................... ------ Besides all that bullshit, life's going on the same it always had. In an aching soul, aimless travels kind of way.  (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 11th, 2008
2:32 pm	Well here we are again.  Things have been...Somewhat moving. Shows and shows and more shows and more art. The booze and shmooze I call it... I enjoy them, the art shows and the people and all that. It's just that sometimes it gets a little tiring plastering that smile on my face and racking my brain for only the best of conversation starters... Overall I'd say that last one was a success. I enjoyed myself and smoked a couple of doobies throughout, keeping myself in some state of permafried comfort.  I hated being all dolled up. I was wearing a skirt and some type of eighties-styled shirt that sat off my shoulder. The balls of my feet are still hurting from wearing high heels (something I never, ever do), and that was three days ago. I was literally hobbling by the end of the night. I've never felt so awkward and nervous for a show before, simply because of the fact I was out of my element and there was no where to go from there.  Just smile and go with it. Words to live by I guess. Just smile through it, usually they can't tell that it's mostly fake (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 29th, 2008
12:28 am	There's something beyond this.  Beyond drunken, late-night aspirations,  and early morning, upset-stomache hurlings. The sun doesn't rise only after I've fallen asleep; The moon doesn't shine only to lighten my path. "Even the planless have a plan," And how right he was when he sang it so clear - -  There is something beyond this. There is more than this. Beyond soggy shoes and singing the blues. Text is cheap. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
12:50 am	I've lost it, my knack for writing. It's gone, somewhere among discarded socks and lost moments, underneath my bed in the furthest right corner (next to my sanity). It's unlikely that I'll find it for a while yet, my fingers busying themselves with other things. Typically that would consist of either A) drawing a picture, or B) rolling a joint. B most likely previous to A. Yet even when I want to be inspired to write, and think that a good dose of B's entailings are a perfect fit... nothing. A blank page.  Countless times I've found myself staring up at that small, insignificant ever-blinking line, and it ceaselessly begs me to end its blinking tyrant...I cannot. I'm not the solution. This blinking line, it's not the solution either. I find my days, my days have been so grey and dismal, and I've found myself lost within them. Why, I cannot say, but the light that found its way to me on every other occasion... Well, for the first time, I can rarely and barely find it. It's not even there... And why, I wonder, why? Why is this how it is right now, and why is everyone caught up in it? Why do they not notice that they are... or worse yet, why am I the only one who does? Answers. I need answers to questions that can never be answered, yet I find that I'll never know what questions I really need to ask. Suppression.  Days gone grey because of suppression of blackness. It's our own brains... It's my own brain. It's doing this to me, and I know it is. The worst part, I find, is that I'm in complete control of every aspect of my life, but have nothing to show for it. No ways of really proving it to myself, because I left every aspect of my life control me.  We're all dying, some of us just feel it more. Current Music: Radiohead - 15 step (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 13th, 2007
2:03 pm	Where are you? Where have you gone... I'm sitting here, waiting for you, and you never come. You'll never come... And everyday it's the same waiting feeling, looking around the corners. I thought I saw you, once... But no. It wasn't you... And it wasn't actually anyone at all. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
7:38 pm	and so it is. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 30th, 2007
9:52 pm	And well. If there was a means of writing something beautiful, something epic.. I would. But the truth is that I haven't much to say these days, about anything. About everything.  Yes, yes I am... I am letting go. Well, it's not a current action. I have let go. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 25th, 2007
1:57 pm	black and blue, he says If you gave me the chance to be sincere  do you think they'd let me out of here? Gonna walk out in traffic if I promise not to make a sound And the look upon your face would be chiseled there forever  as the glass came through the window and the car lifted from the ground Maybe at my funeral they'll say I found the answer They'll say I had it comin They'll say I was just sitt'n around. Waiting for the Great Destruction I am waiting for Holden Caulfield to call Waiting for the great Destruction.. I am waiting for the sky to open up and Make me feel small like a bird in bad weather these engines fully stall.. And time enough to watch the freeworld fall under the black and blue hand of love. (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 18th, 2007
2:41 pm	We waited in line since two o'clock to see this man. We packed lunch, brought games, a blanket, a pillow... Made friends, had some laughs... And then about five hours later, Dala opened. They were beautiful, good chemistry. And then Matt came on stage, around nine...  And then?...And then.... and then it happened. It was beautiful.  But I want to be alone now. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 19th, 2007
1:43 pm	An Everyday Your eyes are sticking together while sunlight stabs at your eyelids. Your body's not ready to move yet, but after over twelve hours of sleeping (not due to tiredness) you can't stay still any longer. The clock's been unplugged. Wondering what time it is you feel something jabbing into your back, and upon wiggling around the bed you discover it's your cell phone. "One oh-five..." you say in a sleepy voice. Thirteen hours of sleep.  You always stay in bed, every morning. There's nothing else for you outside, even when the sun's shining. Bed's preferred - - it asks nothing of you and you give it nothing in return, just sleep. There's no one downstairs. You've walked down in a tank top and a pair of green underwear, looking around for any signs of life. There's nothing for you here.  You kill time by smoking a joint, by yourself. The coffee your family made this morning is in no comparison to how good it would have been fresh, but the beeping of the microwave helps fill the air, and you're too lazy to make a new pot. There are white swirls on the top of the aged brew, because it can't properly mix with the oldness, you figure, drinking it anyway. Sitting around the house for seeming ages, you go and take a shower. The music's playing too loud and you can't hear your cell phone ringing... It's the cell phone company. They want your money and they want it now. You discover this upon blowdrying your hair a couple of songs later. You took too much time yet again today, and are faced with running a couple of minutes to the nearest store and snaking some bus tickets. The bus is late.  Twenty minutes later you're walking into work. The manager hates you passionately, and doesn't even look at you as you walk by. You don't even bother to arm yourself with a smile. The next five hours are painful, but a friend pops in to visit you at work, trying to canoodle you to go out drinking. You pass. The walk home is a little bit chilly, and you're cursing the sun for warming you. You could have been better prepaired if it wasn't so hot earlier. A half hour later you're back where you started, in an empty house. Only this time there are more people around. You'll go to sleep and start the next day fresh... Only with the same happenings. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 12th, 2007
3:10 pm	I am wearing down the walls of wonder.... to find you. I love you. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 4th, 2007
2:05 pm	So, I find myself sitting... Simply sitting. There's no real purpose to it, nor to this day, but I find myself here regardless, sitting. There's nothing coming of this... Not a memorable moment, nothing that's caused me to laugh. No real thought that's gone with it... Just this chair, my back ache, my speeding heartbeat and shaky hands. My second cup of coffee, staring me in my face, and the eery sound of my fingertips writing this out. Come to think of it, if I stop then that's one more thing that I won't have to worry about. tap-tap-tap... (Comment on this)
Friday, August 31st, 2007
1:41 pm	The crowded future stings my eyes... I still find time to exercise, in a uniform with two white stripes.  (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 30th, 2007
4:24 am	And Ode to 'Eighties' A couple of weeks ago Noor, Camilla, and I found ourselves on mushrooms downtown, laughing like schoolgirls. We made our way into Rideau, passed the people that were walking too incredibly fast ,and there he was. His hair was eighties. His shirt was eighties. His pants were eighties. His shoes were eighties. He.... was Eighties. My eyes widened with excitement. "IT'S EIGHTIES!!!!" And oh Jesus Crow... I could see every curve of his penis, his pants were so tight... And it's not that he was particularly good looking by any means, but yes. I fell in love. His hair was so messy and scraggly (much like the eighties grunge), and his shirt was a cutoff. His shoes were wight high tops. Seriously, it was love. He was eighties. I'm not going to lie, I followed him around Rideau in my intensely intense state.... But Eighties, you mystery man, I love you. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
10:35 pm	Sick and Useless... sick of being useless Augh, when will I ever just slow down and take things in for what they are? Why am I trying to confuse myself with these illousions? And even if they're bad illusions I've made up in my head, still.. It's too much to take sometimes. Stop kidding yourself, Jess.... please.... Current Music: Country Yard - The Vines (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 17th, 2007
1:19 am	"blackbird come, at the break of day you swallow shit that people say step outside, look to the sky ask it to fall  or tell  you  why" (Comment on this)
12:57 am	"by the bright lights of some ICU, on my chest you rest your head,  and say "there you are, there you are, there's my heart..." well. I've been listening to the new MG CD far more often than I'd like to admit.... But what I will admit is that I haven't much else going for me, really. I work, I drink, i smoke too much weed, and I sleep. And that's all there is to it... and all the while Hospital Music is playing in my head. "it's the kind that they can't operate on" (Comment on this)